A List of What I Have Learned
Over the course of the semester I have learned:
- Writing is not as simple as it seems.
- DO NOT procrastinate!!
- It is normal to have seven rough drafts before submitting the final piece
- In order to write an interesting piece, the write must open their minds
- Try to make a connection with the audience
- A title can make or break the essay – use a title that will hook in your audience
- Ask people to proofread your paper – they may catch something that you missed
- Research Research Research -and site your sources so your research is valid
“My Day in a Sentence”
I feel like shit. I have not slept for the past two days in order to prepare for midterms. I was up till three o’clock this morning studying for my psychology exam. Then I got woken up at seven this morning to my mothers anxious voice asking if I was alright. Apparently a “suspicious package” was found on campus, thus forcing the bomb-squad to show up. The campus was closed off till eleven o’clock and I had my exam at eleven fifteen. Once I got back from my exam I rushed to try to finish my English assignments…my day has been utterly chaotic and unproductive.
My Day in a Sentence:
“I wish I was on an island paradise with a frozen drink in my hand.”
Constructive Criticism
I have this bad habit of always giving positive feedback while never giving the negative. I am too afraid that I am going to hurt the person’s feelings. They worked so hard on their paper that I feel like I am way too under qualified to give any sort of constructive criticism. I guess that not telling a person their weaknesses is just as bad as not giving any feedback at all. The weaknesses in an essay are supposed to be brought up so that the author can learn from his/her mistakes. It is just a matter of if the author can take the criticism or not…
According to Steph’s comments, I am pretty good at pointing out people’s strengths, but a little rusty at telling people their weaknesses. That is something I need to start working on. Constructive criticism is called that for a reason. I should most likely start using examples too, otherwise the statement means nothing without logic to support my opinion.
Plight of the Immigrant
Many people often fall into the trap of narrow-minded thinking. We all do it here and there. After reading the essay, Plight of the Immigrant, I realized that I too fell into this trap. Garceline Champagne put a new perception into the subject of immigration. She brought about the fact that we all were once immigrants to the United States at one point and that the reason we have so many immigrants is because of us. She was really able to really capture my attention by bringing her own life story into the essay. She talked about how her parents had to deal with being a Haitian immigrant coming to the United States. Champagne was also able to bring in other first hand accounts of other immigrants.
Champagne made her point clear that this essay is about immigration. She approaches the essay from how she would feel if she was an immigrant. She is passionate about helping people perceive immigration from a different side of the spectrum. I admire her dedication to the subject. I think the way she ties in her own account into the essay too. It makes it more personable and interesting to read.
The Art in Me
Reading Art Objects brought about many memories from my past with art. You know those stories you hear from famous singers that they have been singing since birth? Well that was me with art. I was no Picasso at age five, but I could still color and paint like it was my job. Want to keep me occupied? Just place some printer paper and crayons in front of me and I could draw for hours. As I grew older I started taking art lessons and joined as many art classes in high school as I was possibly allowed. My favorite was charcoal and paint. Mary Cassatt was my idol. Many ask why I did not apply for art school…the main reason is because there just is not enough money in the business. Don’t get me wrong, I love art…I had to make a decision of whether being a struggling artist was something I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Anyway, Art Objects reminded me of my connection with art.
The author explained how she was ignorant in the fact that she overlooked art. It can be confusing and intimidating. It was something that was so foreign to her that she lacked all interest to investigate it further. Winterson talked about how art is a learning experience. It is like taking up a new language. It takes patience and practice to master. Art is not as simple as it seems. The author must have done a lot of research about art in general. It was interesting to see how different other people view art. You could say I was ignorant to the fact that not all people share the same appreciation towards art that I do. This essay was sort of an “eye-opener”. I admire the fact that Winterson took the time to learn something new.
Alternate Titles for Are You Dare? :
Do you dare?
Are you daring?
Dare you not?
Steph’s Feedback
As we have all established, writing is not as easy as it looks. Steph gave interesting feedback on the way I approached the narrative essay. She said that the way in which I approached my essay distanced the reader from my subject, rather than bringing them together. I can definitely see that rereading my essay. The whole approach on the essay could have been done differently as well. I think when she first assigned the paper I got the idea that we would be writing another boring bibliography. Steph said that there are other ways in which to approach the essay…
As I develop more as I writer, I am looking forward to learning more techniques on how to write an interesting essay. Who knew that there are multiple ways to write a single essay!
Going public…
I thought it was very courageous of Blendi, Marco, and Christine to allow Steph to be the material for our in-class example. It is definately not easy to hear your work being critiqued by a person. I know I would feel really insecure about my work, so I think it’s amazing that they could deal with that.
Imagine letting an entire class listening to a narrative written about you…would you feel strange? normal? I would be so intimidated. You are letting unknown people into an aspect of your life. It takes a confident person to allow something private like that, go public. I do not know if I could deal with that…
Listening to the critiques has helped me approach my work in a different way. I have to be open to the fact that it is helpful to get other people’s opinions…whether they are good or bad.
Someone writing about me?
It’s strange giving a total stranger information about yourself…so I found it a bit difficult to pour my life story to Steve. I have so many memories and experiences that have made me who I am, how do I classify which ones are more important? I thought Steve did a great job creating an introduction using the information I was able to give him. He touched base on my siblings, who take a major role in who I am today. He also talked about the town that I have lived in for ten years; Living in a small Massachusetts town has also shaped who I am. He said he is not going to come up with the title till he finishes the essay. This being so he can get more inspiration as he continues to write the essay. I am very pleased with the beginning of this paper.
As for the formats we needed to look at…if I had to choose one, I would pick ”Contexts that Make Me”. I found that growing up in a family of eight people really impacted the person I am today. I would be able to go into further detail about how my five younger sisters instilled the values I possess. Therefore this particular format would be appropriate.
My Analysis of Relating to the Wall
The author of Relating to the Wall kicks off the essay with a brief, but “to-the point” introduction. Her thesis states that from The Wall, its themes of loneliness, violence, and war, can be related to anyone’s life.
Her first body paragraph begins with the argument that the theme of loneliness can relate to anyone’s life. She talks about a man from The Wall who is in a “depressed, lonesome state and is oblivious to his surroundings.” The author then relates the movie to a situation that has occurred in her life. She too is feeling alone being in a new college environment and dealing with meeting new people. She finishes up the paragraph with a strong concluding sentence, linking her examples back to her thesis.
The theme of violence is the second argument she provides. She gives a lot of detailed examples proving her point. In The Wall, she talks about the rioting teenagers, the brutal policemen, and guns. She then goes onto briefly stating that she has seen fights break out in school and in movies, she has seen shootings and meetings. These examples are good but she could elaborate more on what types of movies or shootings she has seen. For example, she could talk about the movies Kill Bill or 300 and/or the Virginia Tech shooting. Next she spins into her own personal experience of when a co-worker at her job was stabbed. Again, she used great examples but the major issue was organizing where in the paragraph each example should go. I found the order of examples a bit confusing to follow. I think the concluding sentence is a tad weak, but if she re-worded it, the sentence may come off stronger.
The last theme she proves is that of war. I found her introduction sentence again a tad weak. A more catching introduction sentence might help transition into her following examples. I really liked the examples she used. The scenes she described from the movie gave a good visual. I found her examples a bit confusing in that I could not tell when an example began and when one ended. Again, if she could organize her examples more with transitional sentences for each point, her agreement would be clarified.
In the end I think she had a solid start on the essay. Though she could improve on areas of the essay, she equally wrote strong supporting details. As I read her essay I pondered about my own life experiences and how they could relate to the themes of The Wall. I too had to write an essay about The Wall and I understand that this was a difficult essay to write. With some modifications, the author could have a great paper relating the themes of The Wall to her life experiences.
